I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize