we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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