you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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