FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
