just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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