I want to stick my p in your. b.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize