i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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