Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo