So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.