alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.