ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think your dad took our porno
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week