There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.