My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless