Me. At least after what I've been through.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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