I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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