the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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