I wanna bring you to show and tell
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
