Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize