Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize