So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
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his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
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I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.