i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched