I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
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you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won