Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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  (612): we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/eg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (4812) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room

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  (714): I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room http://tfl.nu/2egq
  Replies (50) Good night (1762) Bad night (8259)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My underwear smells like fireworks.

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  (801): My underwear smells like fireworks. http://tfl.nu/cuz7
  Replies (19) Good night (4865) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME

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  (513): ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME http://tfl.nu/92a7
  Replies (43) Good night (869) Bad night (4396)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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  (910): ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/m81e
  Replies (5) Good night (1628) Bad night (3625)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4695) Bad night (1499)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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  (570): jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along. http://tfl.nu/kf9k
  Replies (34) Good night (9281) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.

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  (419): I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf. http://tfl.nu/4l78
  Replies (41) Good night (1859) Bad night (9650)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.

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  (925): Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit. http://tfl.nu/rw2b
  Replies (41) Good night (3965) Bad night (4542)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation

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  (415): i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation http://tfl.nu/jvhd
  Replies (7) Good night (2378) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.

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  (703): Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who. http://tfl.nu/55li
  Replies (4) Good night (1311) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock

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  (518): I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock http://tfl.nu/0p3e
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW

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  (615): Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived. (615): BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW http://tfl.nu/97uu
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!

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  (319): Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?! http://tfl.nu/a11f
  Replies (0) Good night (328) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.

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  (516): As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter. http://tfl.nu/etip
  Replies (1) Good night (149) Bad night (294)

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