Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?

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  (810): Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses? http://tfl.nu/v432
  Replies (11) Good night (1081) Bad night (791)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.

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  (502): Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes. http://tfl.nu/a8d2
  Replies (15) Good night (6654) Bad night (647)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.

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  (410): You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad. http://tfl.nu/7eya
  Replies (15) Good night (1475) Bad night (4452)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

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  (571): how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days...... http://tfl.nu/e1u4
  Replies (10) Good night (3540) Bad night (1695)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

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  (215): he even offered to make my bed in the morning. http://tfl.nu/d13v
  Replies (37) Good night (8279) Bad night (1168)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

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  (860): once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore. http://tfl.nu/0b2i
  Replies (19) Good night (863) Bad night (5714)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2937) Bad night (900)
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  (914): View more from New York

  say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.

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  (914): say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/783h
  Replies (5) Good night (2238) Bad night (850)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude. im stealing that.

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  (443): i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS! (410): dude. im stealing that. http://tfl.nu/qlpb
  Replies (12) Good night (3600) Bad night (993)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.

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  (802): you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january. http://tfl.nu/msqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1638) Bad night (532)
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  (707): View more from California

  I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.

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  (707): I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/bt78
  Replies (17) Good night (729) Bad night (2084)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud

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  (915): I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud http://tfl.nu/k3wa
  Replies (5) Good night (1176) Bad night (515)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.

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  (763): The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/um2t
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (537)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.

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  (561): It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment. http://tfl.nu/pafa
  Replies (5) Good night (797) Bad night (328)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.

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  (914): It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back. http://tfl.nu/4sgh
  Replies (1) Good night (228) Bad night (646)

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