Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.