wakey wakey hands off snakey
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?