My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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