He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
