i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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