You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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