So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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