I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
