party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
