Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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