How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize