I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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