So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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