Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize