Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
