The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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