I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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