he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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