sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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