Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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