So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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