I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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