Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize