apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
