ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize