your parents love me but you hate me
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
