i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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