y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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