Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
