Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize