why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Some milfs here doing some blow
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.