You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.