Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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