no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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