So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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