ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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