whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize